I resisted as long as possible on this one. BUT, 3 Miller Lites in I just can't resist recording my thoughts on the Mtv VMA's. I'm writing this list with my life partner Elyse.
The pathetically awkward Tokio Hotel just won best new artist. Wow. What a bunch of twats. THEN the hair kid talks. BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.Moving backwards a bit. Let's catch up...
-Britney opens up...wow BORING. Thanks JESUS.
-McLOVIN announces Best New Hip Hop Video with Slipknot. Makes having to watch Slipknot entertaining....kind of.
- Pink performs "I'm a Rock Star." Wow. So bad. GENERIC.
-Best New Rock Video introduced by Slash and Shia Transformers. Slash LAUGHS. Linkin Park takes it home. I didn't realize these guys were still making music?!
-Christina Aguilera performs. Looks nothing like her. A lil baby fat improves entire performance.-Russell Brand gets repremanded for chastizing the Jonas Brothers over and over again about their retarded promise rings. Jordin Sparks thick ass calls Rusty a slut. Whatever! Promise rings on a boy band, sound a lot like a gimmick to me.
-Britney wins twice now. Best Pop Video. Thanks GOD for his blessings. Man, she's really tryin to make up for being a sexed up drug addled maniac. Don't forget kids, Brit Brit loves the LORD!
-WHOA. Kid Rock just performed what can only be referred to as "Wherewolves in Alabama." Despite the appearance of Weezy, this guy still blows. Would someone please kill this terd burger?
Things so far, are better than last year. That's not saying much. Russell Brand has been the best thing by far at this point. The Mac commerials have been great as well. (I know Eric hates these)
-Best New Video goes to.....Kobe Bryant announces...BRITNEY SPEARS. God, what a reach around fest this has become. I'm positve Chris Brown was just shown booing in the audienace.
Britney is wheeled away on a golf cart with Russell Brand....new Kanye NOW.
-Kanye premieres new song. It blows. Includes the voice box effect. Tribal drummers that resemble Jawas from Star Wars behing him, don't improve song. Sooooooo boring.
Russell Brand is the real winner this evening. Brand does end it all by announcing how much he's polishing his chastity ring, and refers to this as the second coming of Britney Christ. Our blonde LORD did take home 3 Moon Men.....haven't figured out how this is representational of contemporary music....although Michael Phelps did introduce Lil Wayne!!!!
BONUS...Pete & Russell talk about faxes with Morrissey. Better than the entire show.
-BARR!
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